Leaving for college is a huge life transition that involves changing nearly every aspect of one’s life. Here are some recommendations for supporting yourself during this transition.
Before:
If you are able to go to see your college and town before making the decision to go there, this will help you be able to make an informed choice about the location, living arrangements, and will allow you to feel a bit more comfortable knowing what to expect there.
Try to make a connection with one of more people in your new place. Knowing even one person can make the transition feel less lonely. Use online spaces but use safety precautions.
Set up a success plan: Create a plan for each of your major needs. These can be as simple or in-depth as you need. Some examples include meltdown prevention, meltdown recovery, burnout prevention, or needing some “adultier adult help” such as setting up utilities in your name and providing deposits.
If it helps you feel more secure, include an “escape plan” for backup in case your first semester doesn’t work out. About 25% of college students don’t return for the second year. This might include a plan to move back home, move off campus and work more hours, or something else.
Moving advice:
Set up one room in your house/apartment that is free of clutter where you can spend the most of your time where you won’t feel overwhelmed by boxes and things you have yet to do.
Then focus on furnture getting in the right places, next focus on the daily essentials finding their “homes,” and then work on one box at a time.
One method of unpacking is to unbox and home one item each time you come into a that room. (One at a time).
It’s ok for some boxes to remain unpacked for a long while—this is normal.
Managing Transitional Overwhelm:
It’s a part of the process. You are going to be stressed and get overwhelmed before, during, and after the move. That’s ok. Here are some things to do to minimize the reactions and set yourself up for a positive outcome.
Expect stress. Expect meltdowns. Know that it’s going to be hard, but that you can do this and that the outcomes will be worth it.
Expect that some things will go wrong, and that you can get help making them right again.
Don’t overschedule yourself. Give yourself time to decompress after each big thing. Don’t move in the night before classes start, if you can help it. Take time to relax. The higher your stress, the more difficult the experience.
Maintain some of your usual routines to help you feel the familiar comfort of patterns. Consider the ones that you can maintain regardless of place, like eating the same foods, doing your usual bedtime routine, and watching the same shows.
Have a supportive person help you manage your perspective. If it feels like to much, all in your support to help ground you. This can be in person or by video, phone, or text.
Consider starting therapy early into your transition for support in all parts of the process, including coping with the big changes you’re experiencing for the first few months.
Lifestyle:
Lean into what you love. Set up your home for your sensory needs and interests as these are the most important for your well-being. Think about the lighting, the sound, the smell. Display things related to your interests. This can help you feel relaxed and comfortable in your new place. Start with one room at a time.
Pay attention to your response to people and places and adjust accordingly. If parties, staying up all night, or drinking cause problems, it’s ok to avoid them. You don’t have to do what everyone else does because you aren’t like everyone else.
Seek out ways to incorporate your interests into your new life. You might consider using it as a social connection through a group, if that seems fun for you.
Let go of the “shoulds.” You are living your own life in your own place. You don’t have to do things the way you think they should be done or the way your family did them if that doesn’t make sense for you. You don’t have to use Saturday morning to clean your house. You don’t have to eat dinner at the table. You can put your feet on the coffee table.
College Success
If you have an official diagnosis, you can get sign-up to support from campus disability services—even if you aren’t sure you need it or how it will help. Disability services on campuses get mixed reviews, but if nothing else, it adds a layer of protection you can call on when you need it.
Practice self-advocacy: This means talking to your professors, TAs and others about what you need, feeling comfortable asking questions, and practicing some assertiveness. This may be very easy or incredibly hard for you. It’s a vital skill. If it’s difficult, practice by writing what you want to say and reading it first. You might ask someone else to read it and give their thoughts. Read about assertiveness as a skill.
Ask questions. You think differently than most people and you might need other information to make sense of the content shared. Ask in class, ask after class, send emails: you deserve answers.
Use a written planner or academic or project app to manage your assignments and schedule. This will depend on what works better for you. This is essential to staying on top of your workload.
Break down your assignments into smaller parts. Goblin.Tools offers a free tool that will break things down into steps, which is very helpful when you aren’t sure where to start.
Don’t isolate. You need a system of support. That can include support from afar, but you also want to forge some acquaintanceships, friendships, and academic relationships during this time.
Figure out what kind of student you are in college. What works for you in terms of studying for exams and writing papers? Do you need a quiet place or some background noise? Do you need to talk it out or have the world leave you alone? Do what works and avoid forcing yourself to do things that don’t.
General Wellness
Self-care: you need to take care of yourself. You are your best asset. Feed and water regularly. Get restful sleep. Engage in your interests. Take breaks. Laugh. Watch things that make you feel some joy. This is a non-negotiable.
Find community: Share space with other Autistic and neurodivergent people online and off. Be around people that make being you feel normal and natural.
What recommendations or advice would you add for students leaving home for the first time to go to college? Tell me in the comments. #AutismGoesToCollege #College #LeavingHome #MovingOut
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