Self-Regulation Skills for Autistic People

Self-regulation is work that keeps us balanced and steady. It's a key skill for managing daily life, but for autistic people, it can be particularly complex. Factors like alexithymia (difficulty identifying and describing emotions), sensory sensitivities, and burnout all influence how we navigate our internal states. In this post, we’ll explore self-regulation strategies that consider these challenges and promote overall well-being, AND if you’ve already tried all the typical suggestions, check out the section on less-traveled methods later in the post. 

Understanding Emotions and Alexithymia

Many autistic people experience alexithymia, making it hard to recognize and label emotions. This can make self-regulation tricky since managing emotions first requires identifying them. Some strategies include:

• Body scanning – Moving through your body and noticing physical sensations (tight chest, clenched jaw) can offer clues about emotional states.

• Emotion charts or lists – Using visual aids or written prompts to identify emotions. Here’s some examples made for adults: here's a list of emotions and physical sensations related to emotions.

This is a chart made from a study of people describing the physical sensations of emotions. Find the study here and see a video about it here.

• Tracking patterns – Keeping a log of situations and bodily responses can help recognize emotional cues over time.

  
  

Burnout and Nervous System Regulation

Autistic burnout—a state of deep exhaustion from prolonged masking and sensory overload—requires a proactive approach to self-regulation. Supporting nervous system regulation can help prevent or recover from burnout. Strategies include:

• Sensory breaks – Scheduling quiet, low-stimulation time can prevent overwhelm.

• Rhythmic movement – Activities like dancing, tapping, rocking, pacing, or fidgeting can regulate the nervous system.

• Breathwork – Deep or paced breathing helps shift the body from stress mode to a calmer state.
  

Co-Regulation and Social Support

Self-regulation doesn’t have to be a solo effort. Co-regulation—using relationships to regulate emotions—is just as important.

• Identifying safe people – Spending time with people who accept and support you can be grounding.

• Communicating needs – Expressing, “I need quiet time” or “I need a hug” can facilitate co-regulation.

• Parallel activities – Simply being near someone in a shared space without social pressure can be regulating.
  

Unmasking and Self-Regulation

Masking—suppressing autistic traits to fit social expectations—can interfere with self-regulation by increasing stress and disconnecting us from our true needs. Unmasking strategies include:

• Identifying and honoring needs – Recognizing personal sensory, social, and emotional needs without judgment.

• Creating safe spaces – Allowing yourself to stim, take breaks, or engage in comforting routines without shame.

• Gradual unmasking – Easing into authenticity in environments where it feels safe.
  

Additional Strategies for Self-Regulation

• Structured routines – Predictability can reduce anxiety and improve regulation.

• Creative outlets – Writing, art, music, or other expressive activities can provide emotional processing.

• Nature and movement – Spending time outdoors, walking, or engaging in gentle exercise can be calming.

Looking for more creative, less-traveled regulation methods? Try some of these. Artistic and Sensory Exploration

1. Sensory Collages: Gather objects with different textures, colors, and scents and create a tactile collage to express emotions without words.

2. Sound Mapping: Create a playlist or recording of meaningful sounds (e.g., rain, birds, footsteps) to ground yourself or evoke a sense of calm.

3. Transformative Art: Write or draw how you feel, then intentionally alter it to symbolize growth or change (e.g., turning chaotic lines into flowers).

Role-Play and Perspective Shifts

1. Character Journaling: Write about your day or feelings from the perspective of a fictional character you admire or relate to.

2. Switch Perspectives: Imagine your current situation through the eyes of someone else (e.g., a friend, pet, or historical figure). How might they cope?

Unique Movement Practices

1. Emotion Choreography: Choose a song and let your body "dance out" your current feelings, without worrying about form.

2. Nature-Based Movement: Imitate animals or natural phenomena (e.g., stretch like a cat, sway like a tree in the wind).

Symbolic Rituals

1. Worry Stones with a Twist: Instead of simply holding the stone, "transfer" your worries into it and "return" it to nature by burying it or tossing it in a stream.

2. Candle Transformation: Light a candle, focusing on your stress. Blow it out as a symbolic release of that tension.

Narrative and Storytelling

1. Microfiction Therapy: Write a 100-word story inspired by your feelings. Fictionalizing emotions can provide insight and detachment.

2. Comic Strip Your Life: Draw simple comic strips of situations bothering you. Adding humor can reframe your perspective.

Connection-Based Practices

1. Emotional Postcards: Write anonymous postcards about how you're feeling and leave them in public places for others to find.

2. Virtual "Adventure Buddy": Coordinate with a friend or online group to tackle a creative challenge (e.g., sharing daily sketches or trying new recipes together).

Play and Creativity

1. Lego Problem-Solving: Build a Lego model of a problem you're facing and brainstorm creative "solutions" by altering the structure.

2. Improv Games Solo: Use prompts to create spontaneous monologues or scenes that let you process emotions in a fun, low-pressure way.

Engaging with Nature

1. Plant Whispering: Spend time "talking" to plants, either verbally or mentally. Share your feelings or ask for advice, using them as silent companions.

2. Sunset Ritual: Watch the sunset daily and set a small "intention" for the next day as the sun dips below the horizon.

Innovative Tracking and Expression

1. Emotion Coding: Use colored beads or tiles to represent emotions each day. Create patterns or jewelry with them to track how you’ve felt.

2. Feelings Piñata: Create a small piñata, write down frustrations, and fill it with candy or affirmations. Breaking it becomes cathartic and rewarding.

Self-regulation isn’t about suppressing emotions but understanding and working with them to create balance, comfort, and support. By acknowledging alexithymia, addressing nervous system needs, using co-regulation, and unmasking safely, autistic people can develop self-regulation strategies that truly support their well-being. The key is to find what works for you and allow yourself the space to explore different approaches over time.