Hey, hi, hello, my friend. Before I get to talking, I want you to know:
wherever you are in your parenting journey, I see you;
whatever challenges you are facing right now, you aren't alone. Even if it feels like it.
I want you to know that this doesn't mean that things can't or won't get easier and happier for your family. In fact, my whole goal in my work is to help others problem-solve and improve their experiences, their lives.
I know it feels like people either think your parenting experience no harder, it's so "scary" they don't want to be around your family, or my least favorite, there's no Autism only bad parenting. It is harder especially if you don't have a model of support for how to parent an Autistic child in a way that works best for them (spoiler: it's not the one focused on obedience and punishment).
If you're struggling, your child is probably struggling too. We are social beings who give and take each others' energies. Help and support for one of you is help and support for the other. Autistic kids can be highly attuned to their parents moods and feelings.
Your parenting experience probably isn't what you expected. Maybe there are challenges that are overwhelming and problems that feel unsolvable. Maybe none of your friends or family have a parenting experience like you do. Maybe even other parents of Autistic kids you know seem to have an easier time. Maybe you don't know where to turn for help. Sometimes the people who are supposed to help Autistic kids ask parents to fix problems in ways that don't work, are harmful, or assign blame to the parent and to the child. I know because I've been there.
I'm a parent of an Autistic child too. My daughter is 10, Autistic and non-speaking. You won't see me sharing her experiences or challenges on these pages, but that doesn't mean there haven't been any. Though she is non-speaking, she has a communication method. She's shared with me that she's a private person. I occasionally share some of her wisdom and humor but only with her expressed permission. By protecting her privacy, I lose some ability to explain what challenges I have faced. So, you'll have to trust me on this.
I can't guarantee to fix anything with a blog post, but I can share with you some research on what helps make things better and encourage you to seek those things out.
How you interact with your child is probably the most important thing you will do as their parent